Cares for me? I can hear it in his voice sometimes. Like he'll sound genuinely upset about the things I do to myself or say to myself, and I'm usually caught off guard because it's normal to me. When scheduling appointments on the phone he's asked how I'm doing and genuinely seemed to care, even though it wasn't during my hour.

Love me? I don't think he loves me, but if he did and he really cared about me he'd keep it to himself. He knows how much damage previous therapists' poor judgement and poor boundaries have done to me, including one who told me she loved me and how she'd never felt this strongly about another patient etc etc, and he knows how important it is to me to not be treated like I'm special or different.

Of course I want him to treat me like I'm special and different and to love me. But if he did, I wouldn't trust him or be able to work with him anymore.