For me, I just imagine all the pain I won't have if I could get rid of this disorder. I don't want to cause myself unnecessary pain. I don't want to hurt people I care about. I don't want to be irrational every single time I get emotional. I don't like this sort of "special" - I want to be special for the good things I offer that will make people actually value me.

Yes, part of recovery does mean finding your true identity. Who is kiwi215? Not what others say, but what you say and what you want to be. BPD is part of you... for now, until you defeat it and become stronger without it.