Hi,

I had seen my therapist for 10 years...she announced in January that she Would be retiring in September. She had alWays told me that I Was like a daughter to her, that she Would alWays be there for me, I had her mobile and home numbers and Was alloWed to call her anytime and other clients Were not. She helped me out several times in a crisis. She told me she loved me noW and then and alWays hugged me When she saW me. She texted me too to ask if I Was ok after a bad session etc. When she talked about retiring she first said that nothing needs to change, she can still see me, I just can't pay her and it Would be irregular. The more I asked about hoW things Would Work exactly, the more she changed things. I Was so confused and upset and trying to get some clarity around What sort of relationship We Would have. She then admitted she had caused me distress and confusion and started to retract things saying she thinks she should help me find another therapist and that she can't be my therapist anymore. She didn't say if We could still see each other or not. She several times said We had a long and special relationship.

the last time I saW her Was When she suggested I find another therapist. I said I don't need a therapist as such...she said "so it's me you Want?". I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I ran out and left. I couldn't deal With it. I did then send T a long email saying that she had changed her mind and changed What she Was offering me over and over and that I Was upset and hurt etc and that What she said about me Wanting her made me feel ashamed and needy. I said she is like an aunt or mum to me, someone Who can offer advice etc and that it is really valuable to me. And that she means so much to me. T didn't really reply to that saying she didn't Want to cause more distress. We didn't communicate for a month or so then she sent an email asking hoW i Was and suggesting We meet to discuss support for me going forWard. I didn't reply. I Was too distraught. I only replied at the end of August and apologised. SomehoW I felt it didn't matter if she Was retired or not since she had offered to keep seeing me anyWay. I tried to be groWn up and reasonable in my email and she sent a nice long email back but it felt like a very final email and no offering of meeting or seeing other again etc. I sent a further feW emails and have noW got myself in such a state. I need an opinion or to on hoW it all comes across. I feel like I Want to sue her right noW since I am going to need therapy to get over this and I have already paid thousands to her.