Had a really good session tonight - I'm glad I managed to make it there after a hospital procedure earlier in the day.

We talked about how the procedure had been, what results there had been, how I was feeling about it all.

We talked about the fact that I'm going to have to leave him soon, and what our plans for that are. He shared some of his feelings on the situation, too. I talked about my fears that new-T won't "know who I am and give a s**t" like he does. He made a bit of an impassioned speech about how he "knows who [I am] and gives a s**t" because I am brave and honest and bring my true self to therapy (or something), so how could he not? It was lovely.

I managed to get up the courage to tell him that I was annoyed with him for not accepting my gift - saying he'd think about it and then pretending it never happened instead.

...and he said he did think about it, a lot, and he talked to his supervisor about it, and he had decided he would accept it (would 'be honoured' to) if I still wanted to give it to him.

It was a massive shock to the part of me that had been convinced that he hated me and felt I was trying to invade his life or something. And it was a massive relief... Not so much that he said he'd accept it, but that he actually had thought about it and wasn't trying to just sweep it under the rug.

I don't know if I can give it to him. I expect I probably will, though it feels weird now, like it's been built up into a massive thing. So much pressure on it.

I suppose it would make a good 'goodbye gift'.