T and I talked about my issue at work and what he said makes sense. It always makes me feel better when I make sense. T is leaving for a month on vacation. T asked me if my meds. had changed to cause this problem and I said, no. He asked me that after I told him I had an appt on Monday with my Psychiatrist. I told him I was thinking of upping my meds. Later on in the session, I asked T didn't we have two appointments booked for next week and he said, Yes, one on Monday and one on Wednesday. I was like, okay. It didn't dawn on me that I had a Pdoc appt. on Monday even though I just said it. So, I was kind of frantic on the way home. I keep putting myself in situations like this, and it's as if I set myself up to be in pain and anxiety. I guess it's a coincidence, but I really feel helpless as a result of these things happening. My T is leaving soon, and I'm wondering if a part of me is protesting. But I don't know. And even though it is not an internal saboteur, it sure feels like one. I really need to feel safe and grounded right now. This inner ego state despises my neediness. So do i.
Why can't I have a little bit of peace within?