Have any of you ever read the book "Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda"? by Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWolf? I don't usually do endorsements, but I was soooo stuck when I first came here a few weeks ago, always thinking in terms of the past, not being able to sleep because I kept ruminating over past decisions etc. I picked up this book of the shelf, (I remember buying it on sale but not really reading it) and started reading. By 5 am I was half way through. It made so much sense. I can stay stuck with my wrong decisions, others mistakes and regret forever, or make an effort to put it aside and go for TODAY! This is silly...it said to think of one positive thing I could do the next day...and I had such a hard time thinking of anything, (it took me two days!) The only thought I could find, was tomorrow I am going to go out and pick some flowers and bring them into the house. Sounds silly now, but it was the only thing I could think of, (wallowing in my negativity and all), by the time that next day came, I drove my hubby to work, went shopping for 3 hours just to get myself out of the house I was trapped in, ended up buying him some flowers and took them to him at work. It sounds so bizarre, but that little bit of effort on my part to actually DO something started a change in my outlook. Now I try and think even plan (gasp!) how and what I can do tomorrow so that the past doesn't come creeping back in and bite me on the butt!
I thought I was toast there, even had the old pills out counting them one night I felt so desparate, wishing I would get West Nile...yada, yada. Funny how one small amount of effort to make a change on my part seems to have started me back on the road to "My Life, the Future" and helped me get out of the muck of the past. Don't get me wrong, I have along way to go and refer to this book often, especially in the middle of the night when I am awake and the world is asleep. 8o)

Just a thought, a longgggg one!

J