Your views about your daughter are both sexist and hurtful. Your daughter has no need to fulfill your desires about how YOU think she should look. She has every right to define her own sense of style and you really should be supporting her instead of criticizing her and making her feel bad about herself. What you are doing can seriously damage her self wareem and cause her to cut all ties with you as soon as she is old enough. There is no requirement that she have what YOU consider a “feminine” hairstyle. Clearly, she likes her hair the way it is. She is not copying her stepmom or whatever it is you think she is doing. She is expressing her own identity. You should be her biggest supporter, not her harshest critic. Being a teenage girl is already hard enough. Don’t make it even more miserable for her.