Please please please don't hate me after I give you the letter tomorrow. Don't reject me. Don't confirm my worst fears about how pathetic and disgusting I am. Please look at me the way you always do. I don't think I could bear it if I saw horror or revulsion in your eyes.

Maybe the letter is a bad idea. Things are fine the way that they are. We just don't talk about the transference.
You brought it up last week though. You know, at least to some extent, and the way you continued pressing the subject when I tried to avoid it makes me think you know that it's a bigger deal than I've been letting on. And if you brought it up maybe that means you're okay with talking about it?

I'm just worried that once you know you'll "take away" your kindness and act cold and indifferent as a "boundary" thing. I couldn't handle that.