i have had a while of good mental health but over the past couple of weeks it has become wobbly. i quit seeing my therapist about a month ago, and have been planning to start with a new one. the couple i've made contact with are already full, and i'd like to go to someone who is recommended by my psychiatrist, ideally. i have friends to talk to about things going on but it's difficult not to have a contained space to talk about things with someone who is reliably going to be there.

for the past week i've been feeling really really dizzy and floaty, and i don't know what to do about it. the last time i saw my psychiatrist he thought that it was probably a side effect of the combination of meds that i'm on, but since then it's got worse. now he'll probably say the same thing, but i'm not sure that going to a normal doctor would help either - a lot of money and probably the answer that i should ask my psychiatrist again. i also do not want to think seriously about changing meds, if meds are the cause of this. i've been relatively stable for over a year now on the same meds, and it's just an awkward thing to weigh up whether better mental health is worth constantly feeling like i'm floating.

i'm meeting a friend for coffee this afternoon, and it's someone i went a long time without talking to. he actually blocked me on all social media, but recently a coincidence led to him being friendly towards me again. i have been friendly back but still feel ambivalent. he said it would be nice to have coffee to catch up. i said yes but now i feel like i would rather just be polite acquaintances than get involved in a full friendship again. i didn't miss him when he wasn't talking to me. i don't know what to do. i know that if i'm honest he will probably react the way he did previously: big emotional breakdown, block me on everything, nurse a grudge for a long time.