I'm sorry you're struggling so much--I would be, too--and I wish she'd given you more sessions to process what happened with her. Did she give you referrals for other therapists? I'm under the impression that (in the US, where it appears you are), they're ethically bound to give you 3 referrals if they terminate with you. I know it would likely be difficult to trust someone else right now, but I think another T could help you work through this grief. Because that's what it is--grief.


The ending of my relationship with my former marriage counselor (from the rupture to our actual choosing to terminate with him 4 months later) was extremely painful for me. It was also a case where I'd apparently crossed a boundary line in saying I loved him (it was a much more complicated situation than that). I'd already been seeing current T when that happened, and I kept worrying that I was talking about ex-MC too much in there. I said to T at one point, in terms of why I was talking about it so much and so emotional about it: "Maybe you can just think of it as grief, that I'm grieving a loss?" T replied, "I already do think of it as grief." Which made me feel better and sort of legitimized it in a way. So maybe it would help you to think of it that way, how it's almost like grieving a death or divorce?