Thanks Echos Myron Redux.
I'm not crying as much today. More like teary-eyed. I probably could cry but I'm at work, bleh, and I don't need that hassle. I'm trying to be kind to myself and not SH. I'm trying to just sit with the feelings as yucky as they feel but I'm also starting to feel more positive. I know that my former T cares about me and loves me and I can carry that forward in my day to day life. The missing her is hard. We've had a lot of practice this summer since I wasn't able to see her due to her not being able to come into the office. Tomorrow I see Tony the Tiger T and I'm going to do my darndest to talk to her about how it feels losing my old T and what I've been going through, if I don't chicken out. Some of the intensity of the emotion is starting to dissipate and that helps me feel like I can get through this. I just have to take it moment by moment and when the sadness is overwhelming, attend to that. I'm going to try to get distracted at work today for a while and work on something time consuming like worker's comp paperwork so I can let my emotions have a break. I've come to the conclusion that it's just hard and there's no way around it but through it. Thanks for your support and thanks to everyone who gave me hugs.