OMG, now I'm feeling guilty and like a horrible mom. I was looking forward to getting my daughter from school, coming home and relaxing...but...one of her classmates (a friend, not a best friend but still a friend) told my daughter she's having a birthday party today at 5:30 at ITZ. ITZ is basically like a Chuck E. Cheese's. OMG. I think the same girl's parents did the same thing last year, but thankfully, it was a cookout near the beach. In other words, outside and not super noisy.

I want to be a good mom, but my life lately has been so stressful. I hate last minute things, most especially last minute surprise same day kid birthday parties. And I really, really hate ITZ. It's loud, the food is not even that good. My daughter really wants to go to the party. I finally called my husband in a panic, and he's leaving work early to take our daughter to the party. I feel so guilty. He has work he was planning to do. But I just can't do a kid birthday party. Especially not at ITZ and especially not now. I hate last minute changes to my schedule. I feel so awkward because I can't make conversation with the other grownups. And if last year is anything to judge by, my daughter will be the only classmate who shows up. But my husband feels even if my daughter gets a super-last minute party invite, we should try to go. I really feel it is no notice at all when you learn at nearly 4:00 that there's a birthday party you didn't know about, at a place you really hate going to at 5:30 the same day, that's just too short notice and saying no is not inappropriate on an occasion like this.

I don't want to be the way I am. I have been so anxious, and this party just made my anxiety shoot through the roof. I know my husband sort of understands but not entirely.

I feel like it is asking too much if after tons of stress heaped upon stress, my daughter gets a super last minute birthday party invite for it to be OK to just say "OK".

Well, my husband's taking her, so she'll be happy though now he is going to have to work on Sunday at home on grading and he'll need me to keep our daughter occupied enough that he can get things done.

Ideally, we'd leave the house, go somewhere, but we don't have money to spend. It's still hot outside and though our park has a shaded playground, it's not huge & my daughter bores of it quickly. I thought of going to the beach. Then, I looked at the weather forecast 80% chance of rain on Sunday, which 50% and above is always a yes, it's going to rain for us. The libraries are all closed on Sunday.

My husband has been sweet about it though. Our daughter really wants to go, and he's right, having friends is important, but I think last minute birthday party invitations are not great at all even if they excite your kid.

At least, I did call my husband home, and he's better at things like kid birthday parties at a pizza place and tons of arcade games. It's just not me, and he knows it. And he also said they finally got their work tablets back, so it's possible he can set up shop in my office (which is really just my computer, a bookcase of my books, and then books & toys belonging to my daughter) and just shut the door. He can use his work tablet or set up his laptop. He could chance it with my desktop, but it is prone to random freezing and the screen blacking out, always at the worst time. So now, keeping my daughter entertained will be easier; we can pop popcorn, watch a movie. That's a good rainy day activity we will both enjoy.

After my husband and daughter left, I realized I hadn't taken my anxiety meds yet. They are prn but pretty much I have to take them daily right now. I remember I ate lunch late, started reading, and didn't think about them. Which might not be a bad thing; many days I need to take them by noon.