Anxiety out the wazoo. I thought all day, "ok, this evening I will make that (terrifying) phone call". But now that it's come to it, I can't do it. Ok, maybe spill my guts here. Response? Total anxiety.

I am so afraid. There is a part of me that is brave, but it is held back by inconvienient reality (including and especially lack of $). So I'm mired in it and that is a VERY uncomfortable place to be.

I truly do not know what to do.