OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this And I thought my life was messed up.

I'm still dealing with racing thoughts, and even if you posted it, I can't remember. Are you currently living in your place or his or it is a place you co-signed such as an apartment rental? If it's your place, I'd get the lock changed and kick him out, and if you need help paying your living expenses, you might have to bite the bullet and get a roommate to help with funds. If you are renting, can you go to the owner and plead a case for late rent, just say something like you can't live with your roommate any longer because of a disagreement, and you need time to find another place and/or roommate?

I would definitely cancel all your credit cards, your debit card, checking account #, etc. and get new ones. If he might know your PIN number or a password you use, change them as well. Even a user name, and that's ironic, I had people here just days ago telling me to change my user name on everything. I'm sure it would be overwhelming to change passwords and user names on everything, but you should do it on important online things like your email account, paypal (if you have it), eBay, Amazon, any stores where he might possibly get in and spend your money before you are able to cancel your credit card or cards (not sure if you have just one or not ) and your debit card.

Second, and I know it's not a good thought, if he's sleeping around, God knows how long he's been doing it or how many people the person he's been sleeping with has been doing it. I'd get myself tested for STDs pronto.

And if he has to recover from a very painful surgery on his own, let him. If you are still technically living with him while he is recovering from the surgery, do you at least have a friend or know someone who even if it's terribly hard to ask, might possibly take you in even if it's 4 hours away? Or do you have a job there and are stuck in your area? Or maybe call a friend (more yours than his) and ask if they know anyone in your area who might take you in? If he has to go live in a rehab center after his back surgery, just tell him & his doctor/doctors you simply cannot take care of him post-surgery, and if he needs a person to take care of him, he will either have to get someone else or go to a rehab place until he is well enough to live on his own. Make it very, very clear to the doctor (and I'd do this via phone if you have the doctor's number and not go there with him or even alone the day of the surgery) that you are not going to be responsible for him post-surgery, and he has to decide what to do about it. He made his own bed; now he has to lie in it.

As for calling his dad, that's a tough one, especially if he's a person you have liked knowing. But I wouldn't. Not just yet. Maybe at some point in the future when things have settled, but not while things are ripe and hurting.

You definitely DO NOT deserve to be treated this way by your BF and especially not after taking such good care of him after a major surgery. My husband had to have back surgery, and while that might not have been as painful as his surgery or my post-ulcer surgery, it is hard to care for someone after surgery, and I had a 1 year old to look after as well. It wasn't easy, and I knew my husband wasn't cheating on me and is a great dad. I couldn't imagine taking care of a cheater. Maybe he will have to call his dad for help, though I suppose he could spin the story the other way and say you were the cheater.

I feel so bad for you