I don't know, H. Romantic. I think this lady night want your sperm more than she wants you.

Aaaand . . . . I think you're more in love than she is.

Then, to top it off, she won't really need you, financially.

You sound like a real nice guy who can be played by a woman. No offense intended; I mean it about the nice part.

Here's what I see easily happening. You move in . . . get married . . . and have the baby. She's glad to have you around to pitch in with some of those middle of the night feedings. I'll bet you'll be great to a pregnant wife and to a baby and to a nursing mother. I'll bet she thinks so too. (She seems to have done a lot of thinking.) Then: the baby gets weened, she gets her figure back, she hires a reliable childcare provider, and she gets back to advancing her career. Thennnn: you start to seem expendable to her. Neext: she meets a fellow professional making the same money she makes . . . . or . . . . she meets a hot, young stud who doesn't make much, but he sure can light a fire in the bedroom. And she makes enough money for the both of them.

Beware of women who don't really need you. She's already feeling bad about you giving up your apartment and your furnishings because "What happens if you have to move out?" RED FLAG, Dude. This is not the mental processes of a woman deeply in love. And stop telling yourself that her reticence is all due to trauma from a past failed marriage. I don't think she's all that traumatized.

Let's look at the cost, if you two marry and, later, she gives you the heave-ho. A twice-divorced man over 40 who is a well-educated professional can probably find another woman. (Actually, there's no "probably" about it.) But how will you like having a judge tell you how often you can see your kid. And you'll be sending checks to that household, no matter how much money your ex and her 3rd husband have. (Or else your kid will think you're a loser.) Your choice of women will start to narrow down, also. A woman doesn't love seeing some of her man's money and attention get siphoned off to go toward responsibilities from a previous relationship. (Just ask your girlfriend.)

I believe that you are good with children. I think you want a permanent family. I think you're a guy who makes permanent commitments. I'm not so sure about your girlfriend. She's doing all this hemming and hawing. You've already needed couple's counseling? You sound romantic. She sounds cool and calculating. Breaking up now would be heartbreaking for you. I think divorcing a second time and being separated from a child would be a worse heartbreak for you. You say she just suddenly dropped into your life out of nowhere? Hmm. You might want to give that some thought.