I felt good I found my glasses so they are not lost after all.I feel glad cos I got all the chores that I wanted to get done,done today.I also had a shower and am relaxing now.i got tired out again though,today and especially yesterday when I visited my mum from 10.30am until 8pm,I stayed too long and regretted it after,but my mum needed reassurance cos her carers are new and aren't sure what they are doing yet.But I got exhausted and I was there so long and hardly ate.I need more rest than I have time for I have to do all my own chores and cook for mum a couple of healthy meals a week.My sister says we can't be expected to do too much for mum that's why we have carers in.My sister is right mum's needs are complex she needs help with everything,she can't walk and she is blind and she need help to go to the toilet,she needs to be fed,everything needs doing for her.It is too exhausting for us.We will just visit and do her bills,shopping and cleaning.I hated myself for not being able to do it all for mum,I actually felt inadequate and hatred for myself cos I feel I have let my mum down.I am going to see what my therapist thinks and how she can reassure me I am not bad person for not being healthy and strong enough to look after my mum in her old age.

So I feel good,and I feel bad at the same time today.I need more physical energy,strength and stamina,there is too much to do and I am getting physically very tired.