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Sep 09, 2018, 06:32 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: Among the stars
Posts: 405
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starfishing
She sounds like an incompetent awful disaster. It's not you, it's her! And why on earth did she take six months to write a simple surgery letter? If the other info in your post hadn't made her incompetence obvious, that detail would have clinched it. Get the letter (hopefully she didn't screw it up, since she doesn't sound like she knows much of anything about trans people) and then find someone who isn't terrible.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SorryNorma
A letter relating to someone seeking life-long elective surgery on their primary or secondary sexual characteristics in order to conform with society's standards around perceived gender is anything but simple. Six months is a drop in the ocean considering these immense issues.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starfishing
1. Absolutely incorrect. A competent knowledgeable therapist can often write that letter after a single session.
2. Trans people's surgeries are medically necessary. Not elective. Unless you mean in the sense of not being an emergency surgery.
3. Trans people don't just have surgery in order to "conform with society's standards." I've heard many trans people talk about the fact that even if they lived on a deserted island with no other people or societal norms to conform to, they would still want and need surgery to treat their dysphoria.
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I specifically went to a program that specialized in giving people who were strained for time letters for their gender affirming surgeries. So, if my consultation date had stayed the same, I would have had the letter in one, at the most two, sessions. However, my consultation was pushed back 6 months.  So yea, starfishing is accurate. A therapist whose trained in LGBTQIA issues should be able to write a letter in one or two sessions. However, I get why you would think it would take a long time, SorryNorma. I think many people think the same thing.
The funny thing is that this therapist was given to me because I was told that she was competent in LGBTQIA issues. =/
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Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours
I personally also just find it really messed up that a shrink’s blessing is still needed for the surgery.
OP — I would be totally mercenary about it, play the game and say whatever you think will get you the letter, get the damn letter and then get a therapist who’s actually well, a therapist.
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I definitely get where you're coming from. And I have a friend who's trans and he also had a therapist who was incompetent, but he said that she got things done and she was able to write an excellent letter. I think he moved on to another therapist. But you're right. I'm there for the letter and once I have that letter in my hand and it's accurate, I'm gone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by starfishing
Yes, good point. The letter shouldn't be needed at all, but as long as it is it should at least be written in a timely way without all this unnecessary dragging out.
I agree. It shouldn't be dragged out this long. I think she's done this on purpose. =/
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You all have great points. You all made me remember that I have power in this situation. I have not felt like I was in control in my sessions. I even brought up the fact that it was too expensive and I wanted to come once every 2 weeks, to which she responded, "I'd rather you come every week." She doesn't really listen to me and she pushes.
So I'll be getting the letter next week and then I'll call up a few places that I've researched that take my insurance.
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