So I went shopping to look for the current side obsession, and planning to hopefully buy one. I wrote about this in this thread:
Nervousness over something stupid

Well I did feel a tinge of nervousness on the way there and a bit more when I was walking to the first shop that I thought might have them. It was just a bit of an upset stomach, but I managed to ignore that and just go and look. But they didn't have any. I went to many different shops and couldn't find any (there wasn't even any that were too expensive!). I was very disappointed because I came back without one.

At first I thought at least this was an improvement because I kept my nervousness in check. But now I'm thinking maybe that could have been because I didn't see any? I can't really say I'm over it, because for all I know, if I had seen any I might have been too nervous to even go any closer and wouldn't be able to buy one. This might happen yet in the future if I ever do see any anywhere.

In a way I just wish I could find them so that I know. Even if I do chicken out and can't buy one, at least I'll know I still have this problem. But obviously I have no control over what the shops have.

Just so frustrating!