Well, "I'd rather not see ED clients" doesn't apply to this situation. The therapist wants the best for you because she knows she might be able to help, but she wants you to get the best help you can. For example, my therapist does not specialize in psychosis, but she helps me a ton even though I might get better help with someone else for that. So that doesn't mean the therapist can't or doesn't want too help with ED imo.

Life is all about compromises though. I don't think anyone will find a perfect therapist for their needs. So if ED is most important to you, then find an ED therapist. If ED is not most important, then find a non-ED therapist. But just because a therapist wants you to see someone else first doesn't mean they're not the right fit, if that makes sense.

I don't think a 45 min drive is all that bad, and that's coming from someone who used to live in Boston and be a 10 min walk away from help.

I think it's worth a shot. Remember, YOUR mental and physical health are far more important than driving 20 mins vs 45 mins. You want to live as happy as you can. And if that means 45 min drives, then so be it.

Anyway, I don't want to sound harsh, as that is not my intent at all. I want you to get the BEST help you can because you deserve it after everything you're going through. Life has not treated you fairly and you deserve better.