i am very aware of every emotion i feel; lithium over 30 yrs. destroyed thyroid, parathyroids and when kidneys got involved, quit lithium. recently tried lowest doses of lamictal and then geoden and couldn't get past trying either one for 2 days as the side effects were horrendous...so maybe being off a mood stabilizer is causing more anxiety to seep through and at least psych nurse and i have figured out that temezepam and seroquel work best for sleep and i need to medicate every nite. i know how i respond to every stressor and am happily married to the most patient man for 32 yrs. but since we made the reservations for the cruise for 17 days beginning oct. 1, my anxiety has been at its worst; have researched anything related to travel, time zone changes (did lots of int'l travel when hubby was working and entertaining clients yrs. ago) but i'm really way off the charts with the anxiety. i prob. will never try to get off the klonopin as i know the tapering takes months and is not pleasant so i've come to accept that at 72, this is where my mental illness has brought me and at least 95% of the time, i have great sleep but the anxiety has taken on a life of its own, yet 30+ yrs. ago while on 450mg. of lithium, i was a legal secy for 25 yrs. and studied to be an alcohol/drug counselor making all a's....so i know i didn't have those issues then. many of my friends (in 60's and 70's) all use medical mj and i've made the conscious decision to stay w/the 1/2 klonopin during the morning and when the anxiety raises its ugly head, hit my vape w/the mj specifically purchased for `sleep' (i can't take anything activating so i ask for indica/sedating vape oil) and if 3 hits chill me out and i'm functional, so be it. let me know how you are; i read this forum many times a day cause i'm compulsive!!!!!!!!