Bipolar disorder has been with me for most of my life, though I didn't know about the diagnosis until I was 32. I clearly had episodes of varying severity before my diagnosis, but the episodes didn't really disable me then. The closest to it disabling me was in my junior year of college when one semester I was depressed to the point where I had to reduce my course load down to 12 credits (the lowest number in order to stay on campus). That semester I did poorer than others.

When I hit 34, the disorder started to disable me. I had some months between ages 34 and 38 where I could work (mostly part-time, but once full-time again, when I was actually EXTREMELY productive). After that, I had to apply for SSDI. I've had some better months since then, but not good enough to work again. Definitely not even good enough to handle the work equivalent of 12 college credits, even with so-so grades. My best months since 38 were months when I took 3 college credits and got As. Any more than 3 credits would have likely been too much or destabilizing.

Note: My years prior to disability seemed great in many ways, but were far from perfect. Hypomania or mixed hypomania was almost a constant in my life, with full manias and full depressions only occasional. My bipolar behavior affected me negatively in various ways, but I grew to let such things roll off my back to a large degree. When I reached 34, it was way beyond my control. I feel much weaker and more sensitive than I did in my youth. It's like my underbelly is more exposed. But in some ways I'm a better person. I'm more grounded and compassionate.

What is the most positive thing about yourself that you have learned since your bipolar diagnosis?