Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailRunner14
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your experience of Rainy with me.
It’s not that I want to dissociate to handle what I’m trying to find strength for. That was my question of how to be “us” in a situation without giving over the wheel, so to speak.
As I have found my other parts, I have cherished the purpose of their strengths. I have learned to acknowledge and value the reason that they were created.
My parts came to be because I could not “be” in that moment. They are strengths that I could not find in that time or place.
That’s what I want to be co-conscious with. Their strengths and their - compassion.
Yeah.
Their compassion.
My compassion for them and their strength for me.
I want to find a way to connect with that in a way that we can do it together.
I guess it would be respect of a trust that they are safe in the place that we are both working together.
I don’t know! I can’t find the words to explain what I’m trying to ask.
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now that I have gotten some sleep I see what you are asking about....
you want to be like some posters here that are "co hosting" ? where both involved are equal partners working together as a team?
most that I know, already have this built into their system of alters out of their necessity for survival, they just have alters that do that.
those that I know who did not have this kind of system were either not able to do this or it came with their integration process.
with me I was not able to "co host", it was not part of my system of alters. my dissociation was trigger related and the personality that took control was the one that handled that trigger.
but during my natural integration process there was a point where only one of my alters (Thelma) was there at the same time I was but it was a very brief moment during intimacy immediately before I realized she and I were now one. my wife and I were getting busy so to speak and my wife asked for something that I was previously unable to do, in that moment I just knew thelma was telling me what to do and then I just knew she and I were one whole person again, my wife asked me what happened and I told her and called my therapist because I was confused, why would one tell me what to do and then blend together with me so that I had all that she had and was. my therapist explained that this happens sometimes with natural integration, the alter knew I was capable of handling everything that she was and did for me so we just became one.