The more I think about it, the more I read my journals and then look at my life, I just don't think I have the right to complain. Yeah, things have been hard and my childhood definitely wasn't great, but I'm able to function for the most part.

To feel suicidal and to SH... what's wrong with me? I don't even hallucinate as much (though it's still an everyday occurrence). So in what frame of mind do I have to be in to complain right now?

I don't know, after hearing my grandpa talk about me yesterday I just feel like a lazy failure looking for any and every excuse not to support myself. Mind over matter, right? I just need to toughen up and deal. I have no right to be like this.