I have always had some degree of anxiety. I've probably managed to hide it well from others, but I feel like I'm falling apart. At one point, it seemed like things were getting better. In the past, I've dealt with OCD issues, social anxiety, fear of dying, nervousness, etc. In my later 20s (I'm 30 now), I felt that I was starting to improve. In 2017, my mother got very sick. I don't know why, but the experience triggered something inside of me. I guess I could call it "health anxiety." I worry everyday about health related issues and can't seem to relax. I'm always concerned about something happening to a family member, and I can't deal with losing anyone. I don't have any friends and really have no purpose in life. My mom is back in the hospital, and I'm so stressed. I feel extremely fragile right now, like I'm close to having a nervous breakdown. I think the worst about everything, and it amplifies my stress level. I keep trying to tell myself to think positively, and soon enough, she will be home. My OCD issues seem to be in overdrive. I have this irrational fear that I could do something that would negatively affect her test results. It's mainly about not doing something "right" and causing bad luck (ie. choosing the wrong bottle of water from the refrigerator, not wearing the correct clothes, not putting my seatbelt on properly - the list is endless). I have to constantly redo mundane tasks, which is time-consuming and creates additional, unneeded stress. I know it makes no sense, but I can't seem to stop it. Can anyone relate, or has anyone been through something similar? I don't know what is wrong with me or why I've become like this. Sometimes I think that I'm being punished for not being a better person, even though I'm trying to do the best that I can.