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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25
My father in law (the one I like, not the crazy one) has metastatic melanoma and only a short time left to live. My MIL and SIL are devastated. I’m pretty upset too. I’m going to have to tell my son that his pop pop is dying. We are going to try to go there to say goodbye but I’m not sure if we can get there (they are in Tennessee and we are in NJ). It depends on if I have a job or not. I don’t think I have the job I was supposed to have anymore so I’ve been applying other places. I doubt I’ll find a job anytime soon. So maybe we will be able to make it. My SIL wants to fly but I’m terrified of flying. I’d have to take some Ativan and spend the flight stoned in order to do it. Plus I can’t afford to fly right now.
I’m just so sad. This was so unexpected. I don’t know what my MIL is going to do without him. She doesn’t work and I don’t think he has life insurance. Plus all of her family is in NJ.
Cancer is a *****.
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I'm so sorry. What is the timeframe like? If it's very short, you should go ASAP if it's important to you. Though if it's a longer timeframe & you want your son to see him too, then you should go sooner rather than later, I'd think, depending on your son's age. My MIL (a kind generous woman) died in late December on the 28th. I nearly begged H to spend Christmas with his parents (I knew the time was very short, she was on hospice but so weak & not eating or drinking much, couldn't talk - she had a lung/breathing issue thing but her mind was clear) and she was on hospice at home, but he wanted to be here, he said. On the 26th, FIL called me at the movies with my daughter telling me my husband needed to get there ASAPL(luckily before the show started). H happened to be at the local library at the time which is why FIL called me. I called the library (it's not very large), and asked them to get my husband on the phone, his father needed to talk to him urgently). He booked the flight for the 28th, he called & they put him on speakerphone so he could tell his mom his plane landed safely at LAX and he loved her, and his mom passed away as BIL was driving H to his parents' house. H said, honestly, it was easier on him. Maybe his mom & God knew that. H got to be there for the funeral, which was important to him. My daughter & I didn't go, we couldn't afford the airfare. She'd just turned 10 and said she didn't want to go, and honestly, I'm glad her last memories of MIL are from August 2017, when MIL could still talk & walk around some.
I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation
It would seem to me even if you had the job, they should understand the issue of a close relative dying, your son's grandfather.