
Sep 12, 2018, 08:33 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,822
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esmme
I'm now seeing a new therapist...
I saw her once a couple of weeks ago and she's very nice. I recently spent a month in IP treatment, and while I was in the ambulance, the ambulance technician who was sitting beside me started touching me...
Possible trigger:
I went to the ER that day, I usually don't wear a bra, so I went braless. I was put in a hospital gown... I only was able to wear my pants because my mom noticed I was cold and told the nurse at the ER that I was shivering.
Anyway, I was wearing the hospital down, barely tied together so my back was exposed... I was restrained in the gurney because I was committed against my will. I went into the ambulance and I was scared.
The tech started talking to me. It was innocent at first. Just questions like, "So where are you from?" "How do you like this state?"
I answered... Then after a while, it started getting creepy... Like, "So, did you leave a boyfriend behind when you moved?" "You're too young to have a boyfriend, anyway!"
Then after a while he said he was going to check my blood pressure. He put the cuff around my arm, then slipped his hand through my sleeve and started . touching my breasts... I have scars all over my arms. So after he started touching my breasts he asked, "Did you cut yourself here too?" And I was so scared I didn't say anything. Then he started fondling my breasts.
He kept periodically touching me every few minutes saying he was "just checking my blood pressure". I started to sweat like a sinner in church and he said, "Oh, are you wet?" And started to touch my crotch, and I nearly screamed, "I'm sweating!!!". He stopped eventually.
I am scared. I want to tell my therapist about this, I haven't told ANYONE in person about what happened to me in the ambulance. The worst was that I was so scared I froze up and started having flashbacks of previous abuse.
I feel like I'm holding in a dirty secret and if I tell anyone then I'll get struck by lightening. I don't know how to tell anyone, not even my therapist. I am worried about telling someone, but I need to get it off my chest before I explode!
I'm just feeling so terrible.
I don't know what I am asking for, or what kind of responses I want...
I just hope that someone out there understands and I am not alone
|
You are not alone!
|