There was a poem I found once upon a time about why children (toddlers in particular) are 800% worse when there mothers were around.
I don't remember the exact wording but the summation of the point was that a mother is the person that a child knows (hopefully) will love them no matter what. No matter their mood attitude actions. A mothers love knows no bounds. So even though a child might be a perfect angel for the sitter in second mom walks in the kid turns full on nightmare because they know mom can take it and love them anyway.
To relate this to your question I think all of us just want to be loved in the long run and that heavily affects our sexual preferences.
Myself I like older men. And I know it stems from my lack of good father figure growing up.
So feeling sexually attracted to a particular category of person like counselors and mom types in my opinion comes from a subconscious desire to be loved unconditionally without reserve.
As for cause. Abuse can shape your outlook yes but it's not the only thing that can
Sometimes an abundance of love can cause that to be your ideal standard as opposed to the lack thereof being the cause
Hopefully that made half as much sense in writing as it did in my head.
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