Hello Ladybug: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully things have gotten at least a bit better since you posted this.

There is a forum, here on PC, dedicated to the subject of eating disorders. Here's a link, just in case you haven't already found it:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/eating-disorders/

And then here are links to 10 articles from PsychCentral's archives. The first 5 offer tips with regard to things you can do day-to-day to manage anxiety. The next 4 discuss experiencing feelings of failure & lack of self-worth & what to do about them. The last talks about the use of journaling & meditation to reclaim joy:

9 Ways to Reduce Anxiety Right Here, Right Now

15 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve Anxiety Symptoms

Top 10 Lesser-Known Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety

11 Tips to Help Manage Anxiety

https://psychcentral.com/lib/20-tips...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...ike-a-failure/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...hing-yourself/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...-from-failure/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-worthless/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/using-...o-reclaim-joy/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.