I as well. I've had depression on and off. When meds would work for a bit then stop.

But my main problem is dealing with all the destruction of my life when the cloud actually lifts. Like where do I start to fix all the neglect if my goals and relationships and other things I didn't even think about or was aware of when I was sick.

It was so overwhelming! Part if me just wanted to deslove back into the darkness and not worry about it.

I was lucky to be in therapy during allot of those brief times. Definitely had to take some anxiety meds though when I was healthy just to cope.