Quote:
Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs
Hope everyone is safe from the coming hurricane. I am doing okay. Still those thoughts, but overall feel like I can keep them from turning into a negative spiral. I guess this is what they were trying to teach me in CBT, but I just couldn't do it in the midst of a bad mixed episode. Going to try to keep this up. Not sleeping as much, slept like 6 hrs last night, which isn't bad but I am trying to be careful about that as I think getting 8 hrs has been keeping me more stable. I also am finding myself less distrusting of others in general. I was never fully paranoid, but I remember feeling less sure about people and their actions. For example, I am thinking more positively about my psychiatrist, and that he wants to help me, when before I was thinking he was just annoyed at me and thought I was overly emotional. Helps that I am not having rages as well, and am only a little irritable.
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I'm sorry about your erratic sleep schedule. My pdoc says I have been mixed for months now, and it sucks. I tend to get 5-6 hr. of sleep at night though some nights it's less (particularly if H gets up to use the restroom or even my daughter because the hall bathroom is close; her bedroom is near ours since our house isn't that big, and she has a way of closing doors that is nearly slamming them even though she is not angry or upset).
And then, I will have a day I sleep 11-12 hours straight, especially on the weekend or holidays when I don't have to get H up for work (he just snoozes the alarm for ages, which wakes me anyway, or outright unplugs it). He is slow to get ready, and he teaches high school, which starts early; the first bell rings around 6:50 or 7 I think, and they expect the teachers to be there by then, earlier if they have morning duty, so I end up waking up early at 5 AM. The alarm gets me right up, and I usually cannot sleep after that. Unless it is a holiday or teacher workday, I have to get my daughter up around 7 AM for elementary school but 6:30 AM on Wednesdays since she decided to join the choir, and they have choir practice from 7:15 AM to 8 AM (first bell). Pdoc says I should get 8 to 10 hours sleep at night. Fat chance most nights.
I am glad you are more trusting of people, especially people like your pdoc and other people in your life. 
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD
Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,
There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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