Thanks for your support.


During July and a part of August I didn´t see my T because she was on vacation. There haven´t been any open conflicts and I´ve been to every session after we started again after her vacation.


I appreciate you´re going to read my earlier posts.


Yes, there was some negative transference if you mean me feeling a bit abandoned during her vacation and also doubting if she could really help me with my issues. But there was no aggressive or angry manner towards her.


I think it´s hard to define if there was a proper bond, I felt it was based on my trust issues in general and that we had rewarding sessions. As late as before her vacation she told me she saw progress and that she wouldn´t continue if there wasn´t progress. Now just a few sessions she ends it.

She didn´t say anything about what her supervisor actually said but I have a theory around this whole situation:


She gets me attached by being very warm, sometimes offering me hugs. She gets moved by my story and my issues and shows compassion. When she takes a vacation I feel a bit abandoned and afraid she will leave me.


I tell her this and she feels she can´t handle I´ve gotten close to her and ends it. She lies and suddenly says she can´t do anything more which most therapy clients know is just a bad excuse for something else. (Unless there is a planned termination where both therapist and client comes to the conclusion that it´s time to end therapy.)

Now I don´t want to continue with her even if I answered her e-mail and said my intention wasn´t to end therapy but to tell her how I felt and talk that through. I asked her if there is a possibility we can find a way forward. But that was mostly for myself to know I´ve tried.