I woke up to see texts about my nephew being born. After a while the texts stop, so I'm hoping things are okay. Wish I knew which hospital it was.

Aside from that, I'm sorry I wrote my last post and the one before it. I was dissociating a lot and sometimes when it gets bad I start getting a little delusional. I felt like I was battling for my soul (that's about all I remember), which is pretty metaphorical if you think about it.

I'm also supposed to be taking my little sister to the fair today. She's not a little kid but she's never been to the fair so this will hopefully be exciting for her. I know I'm gonna have to take my PRNs with me to handle that many people in one place. I just hope I can keep it together today since I haven't been able to stay completely stable all day for the past week and a half. I just need to keep it together for my little sister and hopefully not freak out before we leave the fair.

To the post about mediocrity, TheLonelyChemist, thank you for your post. It's hard not to compare myself, more than anything, to my older sister. She's always excelled at everything she worked on and I'm happy for her. My whole life I've been compared to her and my other siblings. Let's just say I'm not impressive. I know I shouldn't compare myself and my accomplishments to others, but my mind does it before I can usually even realize it's happening. I'm kind of a family let down. I know I've let my dad and grandpa down. I don't know, I just feel pathetic, I guess.