I am sorry you feel isolated

I feel stigmatized too. I haven't been through cancer, but I am practically a walking DSM-V with all the diagnoses I have. I don't talk about the severe anorexie with anyone much. People from my high school class never knew it happened. A few might have gone to the same university I did, but it's huge, and they likely had different majors and classes, and that is when it was really, really bad. Family who do know about the time I weighed so little watch me like a hawk to see what food I put on my plate at family functions, and the time I recovered from the worst the ED ever got was in 2000. 18 years and they haven't let it go. I've had 2 relapses, one in 2015 (bad but got over it fairly quickly) and the present (not as bad as 2015). But I hate family functions outside of my husband and daughter. They always have to involve food.

And when I say I've got anorexia, people can choose to ignore it if they live with me, like H, he just sees me taking out all my anxiety by exercising. I can't even have the normal restricting type anorexia people picture when they think of anorexia. And when I say it's purging type, they think of making myself throw up. So it's a really stupid version of an ED a lot of people can't understand because they do not see it. It's practically silent unless you look at the scale.

Just like I had to get a silent ulcer that perforated and required surgery. No one, except a person who has been through perforated ulcer surgery can even imagine how awful that surgery is, so much pain, not even morphine helps (and I'm talking morphine shots on top of a morphine pump). Pain so bad (or so much morphine), I straight out hallucinated nearly 2 days. Unless you have been there, you just can't know. Now I've got a 4 inch surgery mostly healed belly button & up, though one area is thicker and insists on healing more slowly. It doesn't look so bad. Some people expressed jealousy at my quick weight loss. I lost 10 lb. in the hospital due to the way they treat these things post-surgery. I mean, you just have an IV, ice chips, and water only to swallow medication for 5 days straight (that was on the short end, so I was lucky) and nothing else. Really, if my daughter hadn't been here & able to use the phone, I would have died from it.

I post about the ulcer thing from time to time on Facebook from time to time, but people just can't get it. I don't post how the ulcer stuff affected me mentally because it did. It's a PTSD type experience I remember every time I hear sirens, see an ambulance. Ugh. I never post about my MI issues except on mental health forums, one ED recovery forum that has slowed down a lot of late.