Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
Like people here are saying, don't let him guilty trip you or manipulate you into helping him. He is NOT your responsibility... and how terrible are you going to feel about yourself IF you do help him, after he has abused you so badly?? Not so good. Your self esteem will suffer, your mental health will suffer. You're already suffering of being sucked dry from him. Tell him he needs to figure it out on his own. Let him do it himself. He will find a way. He's not helpless. You deserve to be on your own without an abuser attached to you as an appendage weighing you down. You already got out of the marriage. You should be entirely independent of him, except for when you have to deal with the kids together. Think of it that way.
|
Thank you. I needed to hear it from somebody else because when I run these thoughts through my own head, I feel like I may be acting selfish. I have helped him for the past week, he has been sleeping on my couch, having dinner with me and the kids and it makes me extremely resentful over everything. I have brought up every single night that he should leave and everytime we end up in a heated discussion about how he has been trying for the past 6 months to pay on time and contribute... but bad things happened out of his control etc....
It isn't true. He can control his finances and not spend his money on crap, the only reason why he is in this mess is because of acting irresponsible with money.
Ahh.
I was physically and emotionally abused growing up and today while in therapy we touched base on why being selfish is so unnaceptable to me.. I have thought it is maybe because I have feared that I will turn out to be like my mother who is narcisstic. I feel good about getting to the bottom of my issues and can see a positive side to this sticky situation I have found myself in.
Thanks again guys. Really appreciate the input and reassurance. It helps more than you all know x