I’m always afraid of what people think of me when they see or speak to me. It’s come to the point where after every conversation, I have to obsess over what I said or didn’t say. It causes me to mumble to myself or do weird movements or make weird faces. A lot of the time I keep repeating something that was said out loud. My ex-friend has caught me doing this a lot actually. I’m probably sort of a nutcase really.

Im already pretty jumpy and fidgety in general. Especially in large crowds, where I feel as though everyone is looking at me and afraid I’ll mess up or do something clumsy. I think I’m just a bit absent minded. I often miss things, talk over people, and we’ll bump into random things. But I might just be stupid. My memory still baffles people- both long term and short term. I can’t retain info well and it makes me feel inferior. It’s especially worse lately.

I’ve also developed a speech problem where I stutter or things come out jumbled or slurred. I kinda talk like a kid actually. My verbal grammar is really bad. I’m still trying to understand how to carry on a good conversation when I don’t know much about anything. I always say something wrong or go too far unintentionally anyway. I guess you can say I’m starting to keep my mouth shut and just nod or keep it simple as much as possible.

Doesn’t feel like this is even the half of my issues. I’m also kinda transitioning into adulthood (18) and that already comes with its own stress. Just wanted to vent.