Some of you guys may know that I have a diagnosis of bipolar 1 with mood-incongruent psychotic features. I've started to accept that Dx again. I have no idea why I'm not diagnosed with schizoaffective since my psychosis is persistent and since I share many symptoms with schizoaffective, but it is what it is. Maybe it's because I'm highly functional and the psychosis is usually mild in nature. My point is, though, that the psychosis exists NEARLY ALL THE TIME.

Anyway, although I'm fine now, I do get bad paranoia at times. For example, I might barricade my door because I'm afraid that someone is going to break in and murder me or that the government is chasing after me, trying to arrest and interrogate me about something I don't remember doing. Or, someone broke into my car in the middle of the night and hid in the trunk, and will pop out while I'm driving to put a gun to my head to have me rob a bank. I've also had feelings that being I'm watched on camera everywhere -- including in my car -- and that I even have cameras pointed at my desk at work. And I oftentimes have to keep my apartment blinds closed so that no one sees me and tries to break in to hurt me.

I don't know how to deal with delusional paranoia like that. Antipsyychotics don't touch it for some reason. I think the only options I have left are: (1.) work on it in therapy, and (2.) take some kind of anxiety med to at least calm me down.

The problem with (1.) is that therapy doesn't help when I get psychotic like that. No one can reason with me since I'm 100% convinced it's true. I've been trying really hard to do fact checking, but it never seems to work. Thus, (2.) seems to be the most viable option even if it doesn't eliminate the paranoia. I just don't know if (2.) will help at all. That's why I'm asking you guys what you think. Thanks in advance!