I think that you have this ongoing feeling that in order to make progress you need to win. I see you picked your PC name as "Nowinners". What does that mean to you? Doe it mean if you don't get your way, or if you are somehow feeling bad that you are a loser?

I think our society tends to put way too much focus on winning and losing, and tends to encourage this mindset in very young children too. One thing this has proven to work well in is "marketing" in that many products try to create this idea that if you own the product you are a "winner" and if you don't you should feel bad. Winners only wear this sneaker, winners only drive this car, winners wear this designer label, etc., the list is actually endless. It's much better to pay attention to how you may subconsciously buy into this "winner and loser" imprinting is all about and work towards freeing yourself from thinking you are only a winner if, otherwise you are a loser and should feel bad.