I have felt that way too. The only things that stopped me were my husband and my daughter. Especially my daughter (10.5 yr. old). I was so, so close to going right when the CPS starting investigating me around Labor Day. If fact, I probably should have gone from such severe anxiety, panic attacks lasting for hours, feeling I was worthless and just taking up space on this planet, thinking my daughter would be better off with a mom not like me with all these mental issues, some of which H finally agrees I have, most especially the bipolar. I should have gone in then. I didn't, but I had a pdoc appt. scheduled I think the day after Labor Day in the morning, and he asked me how I felt about going to the hospital then, and I said I thought I was OK. The thing is when I got that bad, H makes sure I sleep and sleep and sleep because he knows that brings me down to at least a more hypomanic state which is much less severe. He tells me to take the full dose of sleep meds, especially when I was on trazodone & hydroxyzine. I could handle a LOT of trazodone, and it is a hard drug to OD on. I once was taking nearly 800 mg daily, and I had a lot left over because I hated the hungover feeling it gave me. I have the racing thoughts too (am mixed right now, which really sucks). Those thoughts make me so forgetful.

Without H & my daughter though, I would have checked myself in to the hospital. If you think you need IP, you probably do.

I'd like to type more, but I have to make dinner. Can you get an urgent appt. with your pdoc or therapist (if you have one) tomorrow? Call and see and emphasize at to the front desk. Keep calling and bug them all day. Leave a zillion voicemails if you have to.