what my T says is that with my history, it isn't surprising or my fault that i have these strong gut reactions to things... but what i do about them is in my control. It doesn't make it all stop.. not quickly anyway. It will take time, and work and a LOT of agonizing. It won't feel good at all... so you have to really want this.

and what is it you do about it? you talk to your t and ask for self-calming exercises... ask for strategies to help you deal with this. You won't be able to move forward or get much effective out of therapy without first learning how to handle the intense emotions which will wash over you.

deep breaths...