It's very, very common to feel that way after being abused. It's hard to accept that the people around us hurt us for their own reasons, that we didn't deserve it, that we couldn't have deserved it. I still struggle with the fear that I'll be hurt again, and it remains so strong because part of me thinks that if someone hurts me, I must deserve it. I want the world to be logical, I want the abuse to make sense. But it inherently doesn't. That's what makes it so hard.