Hello! I hope you're all doing well today! As for me, I've definitely been better.
My relationship with my boyfriend has been extremely shaky lately and I really want to know how to improve it.
I often feel like he's not taking me seriously, and whenever I try to talk to him about how I feel--he just sort of brushes it off or says "I'll take care of it" and it never gets addressed again. I've tried to leave the issues behind and not pay attention to it, or remind him that there is an issue. But nothing has really happened.
In truth, he's changed. I tried to think that maybe I wasn't supportive enough. That I was the reason as to why I'm struggling so much. That I can't accept his change. He's admitted that there was a change and it was completely out of his control. But it feels like I'm talking to a completely different person and it really bothers me.
I've tried to just look past it. To be patient, as he said I should be, but nothing is working out. We're fighting and bickering more, and he isn't as open as he used to be. Whenever I have a problem--I open up and he doesn't do much to support me. Whenever he has an issue, he won't tell me, though I would love to support him like I used to. That's not me tooting my own horn, I promise. We had a very give-and-take relationship, where we would support one another whenever there was a problem. Since we met during very difficult times in our lives.
But now I can hardly ever get him to open up about his feelings, he never really has much to say when I bring up fun stuff to talk about, he jokes that I'm not sexy and that I'm a nervous wreck--but he says it in a completely serious way and it makes me feel like he legitimately believes these things.
I tried to bring up that our spark is slowly fading last night, saying that I feel like he's losing interest in me and there wasn't much said about the issue.
I've tried giving him space. Where he'd be away for a long time and I'd spend time with friends, but it didn't really do anything. I'm just slowly running out of things to try and ways to approach the situation. Even when I'm a positive force and I try to be confident and happy for him, that distance is still there.
Worst off, he's tried convincing me that grabbing a friend's boob is completely platonic. That even drinking her breast milk could be considered platonic and that it was okay for him to do if a friend of his was ever willing. When I got upset about him saying that, he tried to brush it off as "just a joke," yet again. Saying that he'd never actually do that. But with all this behavior, I don't know if that's really true.
He won't even be physically intimate with me anymore. When I tried to openly talk about that and the things he likes, he has nothing to say and basically makes no move unless I instigate it. Even then--when I drop hints or openly say I want it, he'll just say; "We'll do it later" or he'll get distracted and never get around to it. When it does happen, it ends so quickly and it feels like nothing anymore. Like there's no passion in it.
It's had a negative impact on me mentally and physically, as it's been going on for so long. I've gradually begun to believe that I'm not attractive, that I'm just imagining all this stuff, and that I'm the problem.
I understand if he's under a lot of stress, but he's said constantly that he's doing fine. That I'm just looking too much into things.
Please, I would really like some advice. I genuinely love this guy and I'd do anything for him. That's why I've tried to approach this in many different ways. Because I wanna be with him for the rest of my life.
Thank you so much for reading.
Last edited by BlossomingLen; Sep 18, 2018 at 01:15 AM.
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