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Why I feel I need to do this:
1. I feel like I am taking up his resources and he is not getting paid anything extra.
2. Like I am a burden.
3. I am way to attached to him and this is painful and I fear being abandoned and if I am not attached then if therapy ends for some reason it wont be a problem.
4. I feel I am to dependent on him to lift my mood.
5. I am using him for the emotional connection I need instead of getting it from someone in my own life.
6. Right now I can not vision my future life without him in it. I want to do anything I can to keep him in my life.
I am not a professional but I just do not think all the above is healthy and shows some kind of disfunction in my part.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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