I told my T about a bad aftereffect involving a panic attack after EMDR last session. While he understands how painful these reactions are, he always encourages me to experience and sit with the painful emotions. He says that is the only way I will get stronger and the more I allow myself to feel them the less painful they will be in the future.

That said, he never just leaves me hanging. He will always suggests ways to ground myself during future hard times. It is so hard but I understand. I have never reached out to him for support between sessions and I doubt I ever will. I will not allow myself to be dependent on anyone. It still doesn't make it any easier though.

Good for you Moxie for setting those personal boundaries. It will take practice but you will get stronger.