T replied

Dear *****

You are having a lot of very powerful feelings and it’s understandably hard for you to feel that you can contain them. It may help to differentiate between thoughts and feelings on the one hand, and actions on the other, with talking about them being somewhere in the middle.


I understand that you believe that I want you to feel like this, and that I have set out to torment you, and that I get a sadistic enjoyment from your pain. Wanting to hurt me back is a way of communicating the extent of, and the reality of, your pain and hurt, as well as a way of expressing your rage at what you feel I am inflicting on you.


It is hard for you to have all these feelings and still experience me as being on your side, so that anything I say or do can feel like an attack, or confirmation of your belief that I enjoy your pain. There is no easy way through this, but the more we can talk about it, the easier it will get. It may be hard to remember at the moment, but we have a history of working together through difficult feelings and that is something that will help us get through this.


I’ll see you on Friday.


Best wishes,