Mapman, could you fulfill her sexual needs?
If you cannot enjoy intimacy in that form then I would say the relationship cannot be mutually enjoyable.
She has put you in a tough spot, she says she doesn’t want to lose you while not willing to give up her needs (that part can be understood, we all have needs that we want met), which forces you to make the hard choice to break up your family or to stay in an unfair relationship.
Not cool. I can’t give advice because I truly don’t know what I would do, that’s not quite true, I would separate from her but it would cause me a great deal of grief.