He asked me if i had my stone and i said no i had forgotten it. He let me choose another for today. The first part of my session was so painful, so confusing and so disturbing I don't even have the energy to write about it, even though 35 minutes was spent on the pain and 25 minutes trying to get grounded again.

After 35 minutes I said "I can't think about this anymore" T said "what shall we do instead" I said I dont know. He asked me about my new house. I told him about it.
We talked a little more about the bad stuff from a detached standpoint. I don't remember that conversation though so I think I was still dissociative. I remember the gentle expression on his face, but not his words.
I said "i think you understand me. I don't know what I mean by that". He said "I think I have a good idea about what's happening at the moment and what we can do with it". I said "No. You understand me, not it". He looked at me lovingly and smiled.
We stood up and he squeezed me tight. I said "thank you" he said "Trust yourself with your 9 year old self"