Thanks, bluebicycle!

Actually, my psychiatrist appointment was not that bad in the end. Though he still doubts my benzo withdrawal, he said that he has been proven wrong in the past. I told him I went back on the Ativan, but only 0.25 mg instead of back to 0.5 mg. I told him I was splitting my 1 mg pills into four pieces. He wrote me a prescription for 0.5 mg pills today so that I need only split them in half, and maybe I could even split that pill in quarters after some weeks to get to 0.13 mg before going off again.

I went to the pharmacy with the prescription my psychiatrist gave me. The pharmacist looked at it and said pdoc printed (from computer) the quantity to be filled as 0, when it was supposed to be 30. The pharmacist had to call my psychiatrist to confirm the real quantity. I'll have to return to the pharmacy tomorrow. I was a little frustrated so I decided to go to the ice cream parlor across the street. I ordered an amaretto ice cream with a Mounds chocolate bar blend in. It was pretty darned yummy! Then I went to Surf Taco and bought chicken enchiladas to take home for myself for dinner later. Hubby's going out for dinner with his buddies.

As I wrote, my psychiatrist wasn't so stiff today. Well, he was in the beginning, but not at the end. I told him that yesterday and the day before I felt quite good, but today not as much. I said I wasn't depressed at all, but feeling "fňuk". I explained that the word "fňuk" is a Czech word my Czech husband taught me. It is a word that I have not yet found an English equivalent for. I've thought maybe "blah" or "Ugh" or "Boo" or "Phooey" or "Blehhh", but they are definitely not the right words. Fňuk can not only be a description of a feeling, but also an exclamation Fňuk! I sort of had to physically do an impression of a "fňuk" look for him (fňuk rhymes with look). He said he knew exactly what I meant. I challenged him to think about it and try to come up with the translation.