Don't beat yourself up. I had a bad breakdown on the 2nd day of trying to teach and had to quit. If it's making you so upset, so soon, it doesn't sound right for you. I don't know your financial position. Ours is not good since I don't work. But I try and I try and nearly every time ends up with me close to going into the psych hospital. Multiple pdocs, even my PCP have told me I can't work. But I don't qualify for disability either. Argh!

Keep yourself safe