I know it is easy for people to give advise when they are not in your shoes. But, maybe an ED clinic would help your marriage. He might see how serious you are about recovery and if you came out better you'd be able to address the issues you sited that are caused by the ED.

If he says he loves you he does. Sometimes financial issues cause a man to feel like he isn't being a good provider. lt may be compounding the depression you recognize in him.

I strongly believe in marital counseling, as it recently helped us. My H had EVERY reason to leave even if he brought baggage to the marriage. But, on top of that if he is dealing with depressioin like you say it could help him deal with it and put him in a better frame of mind to look at your issues. HUGS