Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
My ED has almost broke my marriage up more times then I can count. Could you walk instead of running? Bring a shake instead of water? I know how hard it is but if you don’t gain weight fast then you’ll end up in the hospital or worse. What is your favorite food? Can you eat a bowl of oatmeal before you go for your walk? What about waiting until your daughter is home and taking a walk with her? It’ll let her decompress her day and prevent you from actually running.
I know it’s weird but try to get her (and you) into magic the gathering. Starter deck packs are around $20 at your local game store. It’s a card game with nice art and strategy great for gamers. Make her help cook. It lets you have time to teach her how to eat healthy and can take your mind off the calories. Do you all eat at the table? If not I would start. Serve yourself at least as much as you serve your daughter. This prevents you from under serving yourself. Look for a pottery place or a paint your own pottery store. We use to go and spend the whole day painting a tile it cost us $4 each. I know I’m giving you money ideas and your negative $ right now but I have no free ideas.
As for you working have you looked into homeschool co-ops? Teaching at them can easily make you $30-$50+/hour for one 4-5 hr day. It usually starts at 9-10am and lasts till 2-3 pm during the school year. My husband is on the cheap side and he makes $31 per hr per co-op. However he still has to provide everything that is needed. It’s too late for this semester but put your feelers out for next semester. Look into tutoring homeschoolers. It would be while your daughter was in school and you can make good money and be flexible. Texas has a huge home school community. It doesn’t require you to homeschool either.
My husband and I use to have these cards called 52 wks of romance. It’s not available now. We would each pick one and do that for the person if we really didn’t like the idea we would throw that card away and pick a different one. We would save the ones we did so we could reuse them again after we were out of the scratch off ones. It was just nice to show your appreciation for one another (warning it did have sexual suggestions at times). Remember he is your best friend first. Other than telling your best friend to leave the situation (because you can’t control who they are with) What would you do for that friend to make their life easier if their partner was being crappy? Then do that for your husband.
One of my friends work for VIPKID Teacher'''s Portal . |
I'm actually surprised my ED has had as little fallout as it had. I was the worst in college; H never saw that. Yes, I always did exercise a lot, belonged to the gym when we had money, but that was actually good; I'd get into weightlifting, drink the protein shakes and gain a lot of muscle (above my set point weight post-ED, the same as post-pregnancy). I got really bad in 2015, didn't eat much but there was an SA incident, and somehow I got myself out of that one.
This one, I think, I think if I catch myself now, I can stop before I hit the bottom low. And I'm not restricting nearly as much as I used to. Meals with my family, I eat normally. Some days I snack, some I don't. But I do need to turn running into walking or just stop altogether for awhile now. Because I would tell any other woman in my position "Stop hurting your body!"
I guess H views I can still do stuff and not how much easier things are (even just doing daily chores like laundry) when I weigh more and don't obsess over it. The long jogging really is bad, and if I do it too late, I really could get heatstroke. Long jogging led me into restricting foods, labeling foods good or bad, but because of all the exercise I was lucky in that I was still eating, so I didn't go through refeeding syndrome.
Now, I just have to stop/slow the exercise into something else as hard as it is. H sees I go jogging so I must have a ton of energy and be strong, but I actually have to force myself or I worry about getting too fat. When I am healthy, I do jog and have found a happy medium around 3, 3.5 miles, normal for many joggers. Just right now I can't make myself stop at a healthy place, and I get so lost in my head jogging, I think now I spend nearly all of it dissociating. So not healthy on any level.
I see the T again on Friday, and hopefully she will help me with trying to find good coping strategies and ways to help our marriage. I did have to work really hard not to lose patience with my daughter, but considering she just started her first menstrual cycle ever, and she was extra moody/teary/grouchy, I held my tongue when I really wanted her homework done before dinner. She promised she would do it after dinner, and she is. And I didn't run today, so that's something.
I need to drink protein shakes, but ugh, I bought some chocolate protein powder, mixed it in a shake with milk and it was so gross. And that was one of the middle priced brands, some people rated it good, some just OK, not great but works (I guess by that they mean it helps you put on muscle). I think I am going to have to find the money somewhere to spend on the pricey stuff I used back when I did weightlifting because at least it did not taste disgusting, and I can see myself drinking that a couple times a day, ideally 3, but 2 is a good first goal. I know they sell it at a store not too far from where I live though I might price compare; Amazon could be cheaper.
The good thing about the ED is if I stop now, I am not too far gone, and it should be easier to recover and regain weight. Because even 5 lb. goes a long way toward making me feel better, though I know I need to gain more than 5 lb., but it's just I know even 5 lb. would increase my stamina a lot. I do not do good when I weigh so low.
One day at a time. I'm going to try to clean 1 bathroom tomorrow too, the master bathroom. It's not as bad as it sounds as it is our smaller bathroom. I don't think they even built master bathrooms into these houses from the 1960s. I feel like it was probably something a past owner put in, either for convenience or to help sell if he invested in properties. So it is very small and should be a do-able goal.